Day 6: It takes time

“…it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.” (Lamentations 3:26)

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07.30 AM: Natural desires

For a long time I have been tortured by the conflicting thoughts in my mind about my longings and desires. I could not deny that I have them. Yet, many times I thought that perhaps it was the will of the Lord for me to do without them. Then, I felt like having unjustified desires and guilt soon followed.

I can’t believe how unnatural I have been all this time. There are many things to fix in me and the most important thing is to learn who GOD really is. His image has been falsely shaped in my mind from way back in my childhood. How a person think about GOD is very much formed by experiences and role models, such as parents. When a father makes promises lightly and breaks them easily, a child will not know that GOD is faithful and He keeps his promises. When a mother declines a child’s petition for something he desires for one reason and then yields to another child’s, the rejected one will not know that GOD is open to all petitions and requests and that He is just. He does not forbid His children to desire things. When He says ‘No’, He will make it clear in time that it is for the best and give us much better things.

I will have to train myself a new way of thinking. There are natural desires. GOD is okay with them and I can be honest with Him one hundred percent. I need to stop filtering things and being someone so unnatural.

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02.00 PM: Healing takes time

I got a fresh attack of blues. Well, I knew it would come. Finding a cure is just the turning point. The healing process itself is a function of time. I have to be patient and let GOD work to heal my wounds — or, perhaps, even reconstruct myself from the unintended to the intended version. There are parts of myself that need surgery to put them back to the natural forms.

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05:30 PM: The power of diversion

I decided to go to a cafe for coffee and apple turnover, while working on my French exercises. I saw on TV a 200-m men race that featured two Slovakian brunettes and one of them was really cute. They finished last and I thought to myself “Why don’t you guys play football instead?”

Diversion can be a powerful tool for our minds. People say the eyes are the windows to our hearts. Well, the mind is the door to our hearts. What gets through our minds gets inside our hearts. When we think about good things, then our hearts will have joy. When we think otherwise, then otherwise we will feel.

It all starts in the head.

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