Day 11: Looking at GOD through Broken Glasses…

“…but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the LORD.” (Jeremiah 9:24)

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07:00 AM – Resolution broken on day one

Yes, I failed to wake up at 6 AM today. BUT, I am not going to give up trying. I just need to setup 3 different alarms at 5.00 AM, 5.30 AM, and 6:00 AM. I’ll be too annoyed to keep on sleeping that way.

I remember how my mother used to wake me up. She was terrible at it. If she couldn’t manage to wake me up after several attempts, instead of pulling me out of the bed, she would tidy up my blanket…so that it would cover my whole body well. Now, how could you wake up in the cool morning breeze under the blanket?

Ah, another sweet memory about my mother that I so cherish…

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09:15 AM – Work is beginning to get more and more interesting, again

I started out as planned at work. The tasks I jotted down were completed. I got my team follow up and complete their respective tasks as well. And, my boss finally got the idea that my user misunderstood the extent of yesterday’s problem, which is far below what she thought it was. In the old days, I would be incensed and brooding in anger for quite sometime. But, not anymore. I did what my boss asked me to do, coordinated with my team, spoke to the actual user with the problem (not the complaining boss), and the day resumed well. Praise the Lord!

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06:00 PM – Trying to make sense of myself, life, and GOD

I found yet another article about who GOD really is. I realized in the past two weeks that I’ve been looking at GOD through broken glasses. I think, a big factor in my depression is the incorrect Image of GOD in my mind. It affects how I see myself, how I see people, and how I interact with both Him and people.

I learned that it doesn’t matter what my complexion is. The Lord Himself chose to be a common carpenter from poor and abandoned Nazareth. What’s in the outside is less important than the spirit inside.

I learned that He loves even the smallest sparrow and feeds them well, let alone me who was created in His own image. No matter how insignificant I am in the eyes of the world, GOD cares.

I learned that I am wayward, prone to wander away from Him, prone to leave Him. Yet, He is the Good Shepperd and He gives me purpose and peace.

I learned about His grace and my insufficiency. I am whole only by being reconciled to Him and continuously pursuing intimacy with Him.

All in all, I learned that the world uses a different set of parameters to define a person from what GOD uses. The impact is terribly huge: either you feel empty and restless because there’s always something you lack and not right about yourself compared to others, OR, you feel whole and peaceful because you accept yourself, submit to GOD your weaknesses, and actualize yourself in GOD’s purpose. Life is always about choices. How true.

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