Day 13: Anger management

‘ “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.’ (Ephesians 4:26-27)

*****

10:00 AM – Waking up late and skipping French lesson

I finally slept sometime around 2 AM this morning, after writing my journals and browsing around the net. It was poor decision to do so, of course, because I had French lesson starting at 8 AM. As a result, I couldn’t force myself to get out of bed in time for the lesson. So, I decided to skip it for this week.

Thus, I started the weekend making two poor decisions already: sleeping too late and skipping French lesson. Not a good decision making at all. I will try with all my might that this won’t continue.

*****

12.45 AM – My bad temperament, and the scapegoat

I decided to go to the nearby cinema to watch WANTED the movie. I always like action movies with female heroes where she goes shooting around the bad guys. Well, it pretty much fitted my expectations. Not great, but good enough to pass your weekend.

I’ve always been one with hot temper. I get angry pretty easily. I get irritated pretty quickly. Living in a country where many men are not educated well in treating ladies gets in my nerves almost daily. I went to Thailand about two years ago. So, I believe I can say a proven statement that: many common Indonesian men have no clue how to respect women. Women get verbal harrassments on the streets, at malls, at many places. I have no idea what it is inside those men’s heads that they think it is normal and okay to say stupid things to women walking down the street. On public transportations, such as trains, where a huge number of people are crammed in during busy hours, it is even worse; women get sexual harrassments. I know many Indonesian men will challenge this statement and argue that those are the minority. But, you boys listen: majority or minority — it still does not make it right. And don’t you dare tell us women to simply ignore them. We can’t because it is very very irritating and we believe we have the right to get the respect we deserve.

I crossed a street this noon and a taxi driver was whispering out something only prostitutes should hear. I usually could contain my anger, but this time I just couldn’t. I gave him a furious obscene gesture with my finger and my facial expression. I felt I could just shoot him as Angelina Jolie did in the movie. Perhaps, seeing a violent movie makes you more aggressive. I don’t know. I’m not going to make it a scapegoat for losing my temper and sin against GOD. It was the third poor decision I made and I wished I didn’t do it.

I need to learn more how to control my temper.

*****