Day 18: Little sparrow’s still afraid to fly

“Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father,
       and do not go to your brother’s house when disaster strikes you—
       better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.” (Proverbs 27:10)

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09:00 AM – The thought hanging in my mind

I couldn’t make up my mind yet about replying to my two good friends. I want to. I really do. They’re good and sincere friends, which are not easily found these days. But, I just don’t know what to say. I’ve thought about it over and over, trying to find the nice words to say to them. I’m still lost for words.

12:00 AM – Light lunch with heavy side dishes

A gang of people at the office, me included, decided to order burgers and chilli dogs from a famous burger house in town. I got myself a chilli dog. I had thought that it would be enough for lunch. But, somehow my appetite has been really good these days that I keep eating. So, aside from the chilli dog, I got two pieces of stuffed bread AND one portion of noodle with boiled egg. Haha! That’s a lot for me, you know. Normally, I don’t eat that much. Must be my hormonal cycle.

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05:00 PM – Friendship that touches deep into my heart

I finally sent those messages. One replied back saying she missed me. One called and we talked briefly before he got another call and the talk was interrupted. I’m deeply moved. I wish things were different, but I’m just not fully fit mentally yet, I guess. I told the first that I went to a sushi restaurant with my colleagues and it reminded me of her because she likes sushi a lot. While to the second, I said I was not busy; was just having fun some other way, instead. I really hope I didn’t sound cold and aloof. Surely, I hope they still believe in me and in our friendship, and that they mean a lot to me.

I’m gonna get my gal pal a little souvenir with a card to show that I love her. For the other, perhaps I just give him a call later. I don’t know when I will see them again; this little sparrow is still afraid to fly. But this is a promise I make for those two: they will be the first I run to hug when I’m finally ready to fly again.

What a bitter-sweet thing I’m feeling now. Again, thank You, LORD, for my friends. Bless their hearts and their lives and let them know in their hearts that I love them.

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