Day 19: Bitterness Batters

“Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)

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10:00 AM – The man-made valley that alienates

I woke up to find two identical messages on my cell-phone, from my father. It is normal, of course, for parents to want to know about their children’s well-being. But, this is my father.

I’ve dealt with a lot of trash from the past. I had a lot of growing pains. I never know what it is like to live in a normal home with parents who live together. Since the day I was born, my parents had lived separated. My father manipulated us and lied to us for years; it was like he was digging up a huge valley to alienate us. And then, there was a defining moment when I finally gave up on him. I managed to get over my anger towards him, but what is left now is the feeling of alienation. He is almost a stranger to me and every time he reaches out, I struggle because I feel like my life is none of his business. So, when this morning he sent me those messages, I felt a bit annoyed instead of grateful for his concern.

I guess, there is another bridge for reconciliation that I need to work on.

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12:00 AM – Manna for the soul

It’s another Friday and another fellowship to come to for manna for my soul.

I’ve been thinking lately about what kind of lying strategy the Devil is using for this era. And, I’ve come to conclude that it’s information overflow (junk ones of course) that makes it more difficult for us to see the truth and make correct decisions because of the lies contained and the distractions it brings to slowly pull us away from the LORD. Movies make it as though infidelity is beautiful and love loses one of it’s most important character: commitment. Ads make it as though a person’s value lies in his appearance and how much is inside his wallet. Books feature writers who think it is okay to create stories with lies and then claims the lies are based on facts. TV is basically junk. Really, through our minds, our spirits are continually fed with junk food.

Well, I’ve made it a renewed habit to read the Bible everyday and fellowship at least twice a month on friday, and maintained church on sunday. I know now why the Bible says ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’

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03:00 PM – Poisoned heart

Browsing on the net brought me to an article about ‘bitter root’. And, I’m thinking now. Am I being poisoned by certain bitterness? Am I, subconsciously or not, keep some bitter roots of past hurts caused by certain people? Am I trying to hide it under my other emotional struggles like self-esteem and fear?

Perhaps, I need to search my hearts very closely and pray so that GOD helps to free me from any bitter roots I still have inside me that is defiling my mind, my heart, and my soul. I want to experience peace at its highest impact on my soul.

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