Day 21: Wholly Single

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

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08.00 AM – Morning service on time

I managed to come on time for this Sunday’s 8 AM service. Most of the time, I cannot wake up on time and if I insist on joining the morning service, I can be up to 30 minutes late. It is embarrassing. But, not this Sunday! I think I’m going to try to make this another habit.

By the way, the Bible passage preached today was from Psalm 121. It is GOD’s promise to protect us and keep us. There is no promise of life without challenges, hardship, and problems. But, the LORD promised He will not let our foot slip – ‘means He will be there to catch us when we stumble. I remember reading somewhere that GOD is more interested in shaping our characters than making us happy. Now, don’t get Him wrong. It doesn’t mean that He does not want us to be happy and wants to pile miseries on us. No, it’s not like that. But, He makes all things beautiful in His time. When it’s time for character shaping, even though it is through hardship and pain, He will allow it to happen to us. But, afterwards, if we let Him work on us, we will come out a better person. We can’t understand it sometimes. But, I’ve learned from my own life that when I got through the hardship and pain, I came out stronger in character and closer to GOD.

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11:00 AM – Got a haircut and new capster

Last week, I found that the hair salon I regularly went to was gone. They moved to another location, I supposed. I didn’t ask where to the building management; I thought I should just try to find another one. There was one capster who used to do my hair. She was really creative and good. It’s too bad I can’t get my hair done by her again.

I went to another shopping center and decided to get a hair cut at another hair salon. There was a very nice young lady who did my hair. There was nothing special, but she was very nice and sincere. I can tell when someone is truly sincere or just want to get more tip.

08:00 PM – Incomplete single or wholly single?

I am not going to pretend that I have no wish to settle down, marry someone, and have a big family. I do, very much. But, after my depression, I feel for the first time in years that perhaps I am not ready. Perhaps, I only wanted a quick escape from the weariness of coping with life alone. I did think that the emptiness I felt was because I had no one to go home to. While it was true to the extent that everybody needed support from other people – family, friends, and spouses; the vacuum inside my heart could only be filled by GOD. I needed to learn to fully depend on GOD first and trust Him completely.

Many people, women in particular, have the misconception about being single. They think that they cannot be complete as persons, if they are not married. They think that the emptiness in their hearts is something that soul mates can fill. Well, I believe we can be wholly single. Single does not mean we are incomplete. We can be whole when we are walking with GOD and depend on Him fully. Get it right with GOD first of all. Marriages fall apart because GOD is not in the center of those marriages.

There is another misunderstanding about being single. People think single means lonely. Well, you can be married and still feel lonely. Loneliness can strike anyone. Ever heard the phrase: ‘lonely in the crowd’? Even Jesus could feel lonely too, even though He had His disciples with Him. I think loneliness is not caused by being single or even being alone. Loneliness is caused by not being able to share things with other people in ways you think they should be shared. That’s why every body can feel lonely anytime.

Well, I would love to marry someone someday. I hope GOD will help me find someone. But, for the time being, I know I have to endure this singleness. GOD is still working on me, shaping me into the person He wants me to be. I believe that He will definitely make everything beautiful in His time.

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