“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
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07:00 AM – Life is about to resume
Life is real again. I cannot point out when exactly blood started to flow again and I no longer was a ‘zombie’. I feel again the whole rich types of emotions. I enjoy things. I deteste others. I get happy. I get sad. I get angry. The whole package. Yet, there is a significant difference now: Peace.
I get it now, why peace is a different word from happiness. One doesn’t necessarily have to be happy to experience peace. Peace comes in the knowledge and belief that there is always hope, despite what the circumstances are. How you can know and belief that – you need to come to GOD.
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01:00 PM – Praise and worship…and a cute praise and worship leader
It’s Friday and as usual time for the fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ. Today, we have praise and worship service. And…the fellowship organizer invited a young and famous Christian singer-musician to lead the service. I’ve known him (not personally of course) for quite sometime. But, since his genre is not my favorite type, I do not know much about his musics or follow news about him. The young man (oh! I feel old!) is only 25 years old, comes from a Christian family, and has been serving the LORD in the field of musics for a long time.
Well, of course it is a value add when you see a cute guy with a guitar singing beautifully praises to the LORD. But, the songs he chose…they are a reflection of what I want to say to the LORD: that He is good, His blessings and grace are abundant, His deliverance is never late, His faithfulness is so great throughout my life, and I come to worship, bow down, and say unto Him that He is my GOD.
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07:00 PM – Time to walk hand in hand with the One
I remember a long time ago, one preacher told a story about the ancient custom of Jewish shepherds. Sheep are hopelessly clueless and easily straying animals. Time and time again, a shepherd needs to strike a sheep that goes astray so that it keeps walking on the right track with the rest of the company. The naughtier the sheep, the harder the strike and if needs be, the shepherd would actually break its leg. He prefers to carry the stubborn sheep in his arms and teach it a painful lesson that will keep it from going astray again.
Now, the LORD Jesus once said that He is the Good Shepherd and indeed He is. Did He strike me too? Yes, many times. Did He break my leg too? Yes, several times. The depression phases in my life were the time when He carried me in His arms. And, that is exactly what He’s done in the span of a year or so when I was broken down and I could not stand on my two feet – emotionally.
But, now it’s time for me to start walking on my two feet again. He’s healed me and made me strong again. Initially, when I realized that today was the last day of my 40 committed days with the LORD for a personal retreat and soul recovery, I became afraid. As I thought about all the people that I must face again and the issues to be resolved, which I have been postponing to attend to due to my emotional breakdown, I got scared. Would I be able to cope now? Would I be strong enough now? Would I be brave again now?
Well, I’ve always admired Joshua. In fact, I even asked the LORD that if He ever grants me the blessing of marriage, He gives me someone like Joshua, a strong character and leader who was a godly man. I always remember what he said to the Israelites: “…as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” But, I also remember what the LORD said to him when Moses died and he succeeded him. Yes, it is time to go out in the wild wild world and face its challenges. It is time to be courageous too, because the LORD will be with me until the end.
Thank You, LORD, for the past 40 days. Thank You for the healing and teaching. Thank You for the faithfulness. Glory be to You forever and ever. Amen!
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